Background Colour: -White- -NavajoWhite- -Wheat- -Beige- -AntiqueWhite- -LightGray- -Silver- -BurlyWood- -Tan- -Black- -Blue-
Text Colour: -Black- -Brown- -Blue- -Green- -Red- -Yellow- -White- -Orange- -Silver-
Published in The Yellow Jacket, the newspaper of Howard Payne College, 27 October 1926.
| Scene I Scene II |
Scene III Scene IV |
A special train, a chair car, occupied by students. An upperclassman is attempting to sleep.
Upperclassman: “Things have quieted down and I’ll get a chance for a nap.”
He dozes.
A class-mate: “Hey, wake up! All out for Hunkusville!”
Upperclassman: “Aw, set on a tack.” He dozes.
A Freshman begins blowing a horn.
Upperclassman: “Enough is too darned much!” He chases all the Freshmen out. He dozes.
Upperclassman is snoring contentedly.
Somebody drops the brasses of the brass drum.
Upperclassman: “Who—what—hey, what time is it?”
The porter: “One-thirty, suh.”
Upperclassman: “Fine. Everybody’s asleep now. Now for a good nap.” He dozes. The train whistles for a station.
Upperclassman: “Curses!” He dozes.
A few minutes later. A flock of girls come through.
Girls (supposedly singing): “I gotta gal, her name is Lulu! I love Lulu, I love Lulu, darling!”
Upperclassman jumps seven feet out of seat: “Ye gods, what next!”
Girls: “Seventeenth verse, same as the first, I love Lulu”—exit.
Upperclassman: “Applesauce.” He dozes.
Upperclassman sleeping. Girls return.
Girls, still singing: “Seven hundredth verse, same as the first, I love Lulu, I love Lulu, darling!”
Upperclassman develops deep and enduring hatred for the name Lulu.
Upperclassman: “Hey, what time is it?”
The porter: “Two-thirty, suh.”
Upperclassman: “How much longer before we pull in?”
The porter: “One two hours, suh.”
Girls: “Here’s a nice place to sit; you don’t mind do you?”
They sing: “Eight hundredth verse, same as the first—”
Upperclassman: “No, I don’t mind.” Grinds teeth and bites hunks out of chair arm.
One hour later.
Girls: “Seven thousandth verse, same as the first, I gotta girl, her name is Lulu, I love Lulu—”
Upperclassman: “Conductor, is there no chance at all for a train robbery, hold-ups, murders and all that you know?”
Conductor: “No chance at all, sir.”
Upperclassman: “Darn.”
Exeunt.